Friday, August 30, 2013

Midnight gardening

Hi again!
Sorry for the long hiatus... I was working on my other blog http://tentexts.blogspot.com/ .


Ironically that is super similar to how I respond to my eHarmony mails, minus the blog part (insert random reason I haven't returned your message here).

Anyway, I was randomly gardening tonight and I thought I'd explain why I am gardening so late. Partially because of this:
https://www.google.com/search?q=night+blooming+cactus&tbm=isch&tbs=simg:CAQSXglCCf06V5xwmRpKCxCwjKcIGjgKNggBEhDFB54E3QXgBd8F3gXtBeUFGiC4eLcqlgmJaFsrNtiLKUiwjHPzaQa7RQr3BngNuJl2lAwLEI6u_1ggaAAwhpR_1jBG_1JccQ&sa=X&ei=qUogUrCbE5H2igKd9YCoCw&ved=0CCcQwg4oAA&biw=1366&bih=622
 (no, that's not the actual one in my front yard, but I've been drinking whiskey, and don't feel like downloading the pix from my phone).


Seriously, I have 2 of these cactus in my front yard. I would have no idea that I had GORGEOUS NIGHT BLOOMING FLOWERS in my front yard if I didn't garden at night, which I do.

The other reason I'm gardening so late, is because its the best time to prepare for gardening tomorrow!

Yes, night time IS the right time...
For, er, um, gardening.


Really though! I'm prepping for a big day of weeding, and therefore, by watering tonight, the soil will soften up and thus, the weeds will be easier to pull in the morning. If you water during the day, the water may evaporate and not help you weed in the least bit.


So, grab a bottle of whiskey, a flashlight, and set your timer! Each area needs 5-20 minutes of watering. Does that seem like a vague time frame? Well, it is.

Because you're drinking whiskey.

And because you're filling that random time with other things, like writing about your lame-ass dating life in your other blog, and reading this:
http://theoatmeal.com/story/teriyaki

So, the time depends on how bored you get between watering, how dense the area of weeds is, and how many whiskey drinks you've had.

But seriously, night watering is brilliant, in many ways I can't name because I've had a few whiskey drinks.

The End

Thursday, November 24, 2011

D.A.M.E.S.

Devious Artbabes Making Evil Shit was a craft night I started years ago when I wanted to hang out with friends, drink wine, and be creative. We met on Friday nights every 3 weeks or so, and usually went until after 2am. It was a night for drinking wine, hanging with my other art chicks, and basically being lunatics.

It's where the "My" stencil was made and painted on above the "HUMPS" sign in front of my old apartment, where Tara Armov taught me to love JT, and where the original members of D.A.M.E.S. each got a realistic rooster to take home, from the random box o' cocks I happened to obtain.

It fizzled out a bit when I moved out, but has made a few appearances, typically in the name of burlesque costumes needing to be made.

And THIS is what happens if you don't come to D.A.M.E.S. night:

...and you live next door.


(oh, and we totally got caught, and so our neighbor came over for drinks!)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

CHAMUCO!

The roommate suggested that I add drink recipes to this blog to further intice you to read. So, I'm going to start with a drink that I frequently consume at one of my favorite restaurants, Pink Taco.

The drink is called CHAMUCO and is basically a Coronita turned upside down in a Margarita. It's ridiculously delicious and expensive because once you have one, you want more. The x and I on one particular night did 5 rounds of this stuff and ended up with a ridiculous bill consisting mainly of our bar tab.

The neat thing is, at first you lift up the Coronita to add more to the drink (displacement and all that) but it pours too much in. So Mr. Engineer brilliant x bf discovered that by blowing bubbles into the coronita with your straw, you can add the perfect amount of cerveza to the margarita before the margarita is nada. (yes, I know that is the incorrect usage of the word, but I'm messing with all you gringos out there).

We discovered this drink earlier in our relationship and it was super happy fun times for a while. On special occasions we'd go to Pink Taco, have delicious food and several chamucos and then be silly fucks for the rest of the night.

And then things started to go south.

Now, typically I am a silly drunk, I get super crafty and make stencils to turn the "Hump" signs on streets into "MY HUMPS". But as things progressed, I think the Chamuco's started to turn me. Some people are angry drunks, messy drunks, funny drunks, etc. I've prided myself on never being an angry drunk. But a few nights ago I made the mistake of drinking Chamucos too soon after said relationship ended, oh, and I was drinking those Chamucos with the x. BAD IDEA!

Chamuco chemically mixed with the fibers of my jeans to turn them into Jerk Pants. The x got a mouthfull, including a moment where, nearly in tears, I left the restaurant to regain composure and consider walking home.

I apologized profusely this morning to no avail. The lesson learned here is ONLY DRINK CHAMUCOS WITH YOUR CLOSE GIRLFRIENDS AND BE SILLY WOO HOO GIRLS. Do NOT drink with anyone you have issues with. There is some chemical combination that will not work to your advantage and only make you look like a silly git.

Oh, and upon looking up images for a Chamuco for this post, I came across 2 things. First, the definition: Spanish term for "devil" spanish slang used to describe a mischievious person.

and this image:

'nuff said

Friday, September 30, 2011

Do not attempt this at home!

Today my roommate, once again, foiled my plans and saved my life. Ok, I'm exaggerating a little bit.

Per my watering the tree stumps last night, I figured, hey, no problem, they'll come right out! Forgetting my usual motto "You can never do things the easy way." As I began digging, I realized that I may be digging for months. The stumps wouldn't budge. My lovely neighbor came over and since she's an alcohobbiest as well, we began plans to remove said stump by tying one end of a rope to a car, the other end to the stump, and OMG HOW MUCH FUN WOULD THAT BE!

Overhearing these plans, the roommate then proceeded to use her brain and determine if this was, in fact, a realistic option. She found this:
super awesome stump removal instructions
and thus talked us out of possibly destroying the neighbor's truck.

So, mamasan and I went to our local Home Dump (the x bf's nickname for Home Depot) and bought that 17 lb, tamper head digging bar from the above website. Its pretty awesome, and its always fun to be a cute blonde walking around Home Dump with something that could double as a siege weapon. I could kill a lot of zombies with that thing!

Annoyed with the stumps, I decided to muck around a bit and work on planting some mini succulents in adorable cans from the Mexican market. I also added to my Drip system where my mom planted spider plants, and fixed other parts of it that had come loose. I think in the future I may do a series on installing a Drip System. But for now I have to straighten up the house for D.A.M.E.S. craft night!

Drunken Gardening 102

Just got home from a burlesque show. It's almost 1am, and I went out to water around roots, so they're easier to dig out tomorrow, in heels and false eyelashes.




This is drunken gardening.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Drunken Gardening

Hola!
Welcome to the first blog of Alcohobbism. I am your intrepid explorer, Dia, and today I will introduce you to the misadventures of drunken gardening. Now, I don't necessarily recommend heavy drinking as in the heat it can decrease the antidiurretic hormone your pituitary glad secretes, and thus resulting in super headachey no good dehydration. That, and I tend to use chainsaws in my gardening, and I'm just not interested in loosing a limb.
Drunk gardening is a term I use loosely to describe the planting methods of the former owners of my garden. There are a few guidelines that they apparently thought were good ideas. First, dig one hole and plant as many plants in it as possible. Second refuse to consider the relative size plants may achieve in the future, thus resulting in my front yard of succulents whose size I have deemed as, bigger than a baby, but smaller than a mini cooper. Exhibit A:
My front yard is a mess of succulents. It's extremely stabby and difficult to weed (the ground cover is lava rock which I have no idea how that 70s throwback ended up in my front lawn, go back to Pompei you bastard! Too soon?). Children fear it, it's probably eaten a few toddlers, but it makes a good moat, no one would ever make it out alive. And someone should probably location scout it for a space movie.
So on a weekly basis, my saintly mother and I get our hands dirty and garden like banshees. It keeps me sane, being in nature, and tearing the shit out of some crazy plants. And I get to use a chainsaw. Win Win!